Ensure domestic tranquility with teenagers and sensitive issues
Posted by: Don Myatt in Family, tags: FamilyMore often than not, teenagers of today are thought of as being self-centred, impolite juvenile delinquents who are a total disgrace to their generation. Contrary to the sceptics amongst us, this perception of teenagers is totally incorrect. A teenager need to be spoken to, on his or her level, about sensitive issues or family feud questions that need to be addressed, in a proper manner and you will see how your kids really do count on you, as parents, for guidance, and as the ones that ensure domestic tranquilty. It is never too early to start talking about sensitive matters with your teenagers, but unfortunately it can be too late.
In case you don’t know it already, here’s a piece of useful information that should make you feel easier, even happier about setting boundaries within the home; kids want parents to establish boundaries within the family. They may rebel against them a little bit, but they’re really just trying you out to see how committed you are about the boundaries you’ve set to ensure domestic tranquility. They want to make sure the foundations you have set can withstand any turmoil.
Our children need to know, and they deserve to know where their parents stand on matters such as sex, drugs, alcohol, dating, and other topics. At the same time, they also need to know that you care about their concerns and thoughts. You ought to talk about matters with your teenagers, not just give them a list of rules they must follow to the letter, because we say so! Kids of all ages need some freedom to explore and grow, and all the while parents need to make sure that their teenage children can approach them to discuss anything whatsoever. If you cannot do that, there are enough outside influences just waiting to take your place.
* Explain in a calm and clear fashion, what you expect of them both at home and in public.
* Respect them as the independent, young adults that they are and they will be a lot more respectful of you.
* Be attentive and supportive when they do approach you with problems or concerns.
Inevitably, your teen will have queries about matters that concern them. Never make your teen feel like their concerns are childish and don’t ever bypass these issues. You need to be forthright and be 100% honest with them, expressing your fears and your experience with the matters at hand.
No one knows your kids like you do, so why not practice with your “other-half” asking questions you might expect from him or her? Then come up with answers that will address the questions concerned. This is a fantastic way to deal with teenagers problems. But, take heed! Never do this if there is the slightest chance of your child witnessing you do so. Because they will immediately get the wrong end of the stick, and assume you are mocking them, which isn’t the case and it can cause terrible and long lasting damage!
Quite often teens will ask questions at the most inconvenient moment, just as toddlers do. Endeavour not to be caught off guard. Be aboveboard with them rather than just dismissing the question. Take the matter up at the time rather than having to contradict any information they could get from their friends, who are more than happy to talk with them about it.
Let your child know if you don’t feel comfortable discussing a topic, but that your relationship is more important than a little bit of discomfort. They may be uncomfortable bringing the subject up as well. You don’t have to go into every detail of your own teenage years, but using scenarios and lessons you learned should confirm that you wasn’t born in a cave!
Not that they would ever agree, but teenagers don’t know everything - they need to learn as they grow into adulthood. Your responsibility as a parent doesn’t just stop once your child becomes a teen, in fact you just graduate to a another level in your relationship. Take every opportunity to talk with your teen about sensitive issues, puberty, boundaries in relationships, family feud questions and establish boundaries. Do it now while they are still at home, and before it’s too late to influence them for the better.
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